Mortification: March 20
Some subordinate their progress in perfection, which consists in denying their desires and likings out of love for God, to their own tastes and whims. So strong is this inclination that even if they are commanded by obedience to do something which is to their liking, they immediately lose their desire for it, and all interest in it, because their one desire is to do their own will. The saints did not act this way.
The Capuchin Brother, Blessed Seraphim, once confided to a friend that he would have liked to remain in the house of Loreto or in Rome in order to serve as many Masses as possible. Upon being told that if he he but asked the favor, his Superiors would readily grant him his wish, he answered: "Oh! never! No matter how holy a desire may be, it must never be defiled by one's own will."
Another Capuchin, St. Felix, never did anything without the permission and expressed will of his superior, even though his duty of seeking alms allowed him some freedom. And his superiors, knowing St. Felix's integrity and virtue, would often leave it up to him to dispose freely of the things received. But the saint, instead of deriving satisfaction from this liberty, saw in it a reason for sadness and grief for he was unable to practice that entire submission and dependence which he so ardently desired, and was obliged to do his own will, which he greatly abhorred.
